Actual Final Post

So my plan to shoot a documentary for the group AFI fell through because communications between us failed. I sent an email about three to four weeks ago to be able to come in and shoot one for them to be able to use but since I never got a response I stopped pursuing. Though I will take this opportunity to just reflect on the year I guess. I have learned a whole lot about the process of literature because it isn't just a once and done thing it is a continual process that takes time and effort to really connect with the text and also with the world around you. It has showed me that one of the best marks of a scholar is patience and perseverance. Those two attributes are what separate the studious from the lazy. Those two attributes take a meager understanding of a text and move it to a place where the understanding is so deep that it begins to affect the person to the point of a change in their life. I know all these texts this semester had a hand in shaping me, however small, into a better person. Its the type of thing where while reading the truth agrees with who you are and you begin to take on that truth and in the meantime you realize that there are bits of you that need to be left behind. A good example is the section on nature, I used to appreciate nature but never on the scale that I do now because of literature showing me the beauty of all the things that God has created. So after all the times where you thought that I didn't enjoy the class or get anything out of it I just wanna say thank you. I actually can say that I learned something and it has changed me.

Such a Sad Somber End

1. I am choosing the final chapter from C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed. The final chapter is the part of the book where Lewis comes to most of his conclusions about grief. He realizes that as he writes down all the things he is going through as he is stricken with grief that grief is not a state but a process. He realizes that he is coming back to the same thoughts that he has had not too long ago and explains that what he has written before is beginning to come back into his mind. From there he shoots off in many directions as his thoughts begin to swirl around and pop up onto the page.
2. At first this seems as a way to see into what Lewis is thinking during his time of grief. Almost as if it is a new type of biography genre and it is Lewis writing a completely open autobiography. Then you can see it as a way to help you through grief when you get to the point that you need it to. So when you are in the same place as Lewis was you can pick up this nice read and get an emotional experience out of his pain enough to kick you out of yours. It can easily be viewed as something that has more of an inward look to Lewis and Lewis alone. He hides his purpose behind a lot of vivid imagery and in questions that are like life's imponderables. My reasoning behind interpreting this is because I feel no matter who you are you need to be able to have an experience with grief and Lewis does a great job with it. Also the professor said I needed to interpret a text we read.
3. I think the biggest thing that Lewis is trying to get across is that grief is something that every person will experience at some point and time in their life and that you need to understand what exactly it entails. He takes a more spiritual approach to the whole take on being at a place where it seems as though God doesn't belong. Most people yell at God or take out their anger on him because they believe that it is God's fault. Though Lewis does that in the beginning part of the book in this chapter it is as if his journey, or process as he puts it, is nearing an end and he is beginning to see the daylight and he takes the daylight that he is beginning to see and applies it to what he has written before. He takes on his final leg of grief as a sort of entry into a new direction of grief. He views the process as less of a level to level or stage to stage and a hand in hand walk with something that was created to change you in a phenomenal way if you were only able to realize that instead of grief standing in front of you yelling but next to you and is gently talking you into submission. TO appreciate what you have while you have it and not when you have lost it.
4. My main reason behind using and reusing the whole grief as a process is because on the very first page of the fourth chapter Lewis says that sorrow is less of a state and more of a process. That sets up the theme for the entire chapter. My reasoning behind describing grief as a friend that is next to you comes from a part that actually started off sounding like it would be a difficult passage to understand and slowly transitioned to a passage that was simpler than you once thought just like I stated above. This part is from a dream that Lewis had in which there is a man in total darkness who hears a noise. The noise is either interpreted as something far off or as a friend who is close by chuckling. He ends the whole story by saying that people may actually be completely wrong as to the situation that they are actually in. Which shows that people are unable to see what the worth of something is until it is taken. So grief is a way of them seeing what they had missed for so long yet people never realize that grief is also something that should be understood for what it is worth and is easily and almost always overlooked. Yet Lewis has a great way of making sure that what needs to be seen is actually seen. Another great example of that is when Lewis talks of enjoying praise while at the same time enjoying what you are praising. I find all those to be great ways of backing my interpretation.
5. The greatest thing I got from this story taking all the interpretations into account was that the life of a human is marred by so many things that we never take into account the importance of the things that mar us. That so often we focus on the things that highlight our life that we refuse to accept the beauty of the highlighter. That without the dark line that defines us we are unable to exist on the pages of life. Its not about accepting the darkness or even embracing the darkness but its about realizing that darkness has something for us too and we should get what we can from it. Lewis by showing us the darkness inside him opened up two doors for those who are reading, a door filled with light that he is walking towards and a door filled with darkness that he came from and he wants us to watch his journey from one to another.

Martyrdom

I found a certain part to be very interesting. The whole paragraph where the child talks about becoming a martyr. The line "She could stand to be shot but not burned in oil. She didn't know if she could stand to be burned in oil or not." I agree with her because I think the whole point of martyrdom is that we are not prepared for it in any way. If we were prepared for martyrdom then it would just be an arranged death. About a week or so ago I was talking with a friend about this topic and he was telling me how his dad interpreted it. That in the scriptures it speaks of God giving you the strength for the moment to be able to withstand the pressure and pain that is all around you at the time of your persecution. Now the next part where they send in lions after her and the lions are then converted so that they do not harm her and then they try to douse her in oil and burn her but that fails too is an example of glorifying martyrdom. Is it wrong to glorify what has happened in the past as being able to be your future? Is it wrong to imagine your own plan of how you will die for what you believe in? Isn't the whole point of going through this to go along with God's purpose and not your own? Too often I see people who are afraid of martyrdom and that is not okay in my head. I thoroughly believe that if you cannot see yourself dying for Christ then you are first of all not truly in love with Him and two you have no faith that through the time of pain and suffering God will not leave you there alone and he will be the one who helps you get through the whole ordeal.

Omelas?

Well isn't this just totally crazy and confusing. So I have decided taking this monster of a short story as a whole is a very bad idea because I want to create the least amount of pain possible for my feeble brain. My first point is a great quote "This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain." I love this quote for a few reasons. The first reason being the fact that I like to fancy myself as an artist and to hear this makes me think. Does an artist always need to display pain in order for it to be artistic? Is evil the only thing that makes art artsy? Can good art show the good nature of humanity instead of focusing on the bad tendencies that humans have? To answer my own question, yes it can.

"A marvelous smell of cooking goes forth from the red and blue tents of the provisioners." This I put here simply because it reminds me of the Fourth of July. It is a holiday that has a lot of red and blue, and in my family the smell of what is cooking is usually marvelous for any holiday. I just got really excited for the upcoming parties at my house and I am so ready for the beginning of a summer filled with barbeque and friends.

Now as a whole I am unable to fully comprehend the direction of this short story or if it even has a direction. I just feel like this is another one of those stories you read and know that there is something more to it. I chose those two quotes because they both were something that I could grasp and understand. I can safely say this is the most confusing story of the year and I am ready to get with other people to find out how they viewed it. If I could share my thoughts of the story as a whole I would say that this exemplifies the American Dream. That at the expense of the few who are required to suffer those who ignore and turn the other way are allowed to enjoy the amenities of life.

Wings Could be a Curse

A very old man with enormous wings is an amazing story. I have no idea what the writers intent was but I do know that it would make a wonderful short film. The vivid imagery that was shown throughout the entire story. The look of the apparent angel, the look of the hose based upon the situation with the crabs, the chicken coop and the ocean. That all makes for a wonderful mind cinematography set. Well I believe one of the biggest things is the immediate front that is put up by the representative of the church. Instead of the priest or father showing the creature love he condemns its existence and begins to call it out in front of others. Yet when he gets behind closed doors he can't sleep because the presence of this creature has rocked his faith. After going through this class for a second time I have found that the way to approach these situations is not the way the father did but with an open mind that is ready to dialogue and not stay so stagnant but be open to the fact that through learning more you inevitably become changed for the better. That is what I thought of the priest.

Now with the angel creature I believe that people miss the point by delving specifically into what he looks like and less into who he is. Who is he? Where does he come from? What is it he is saying? What does he like to eat? All these take away from the mystery of this mysterious angel creature that is located in a chicken coop. You can get past the outer whuch offers no substance to a person and dive into the inner being. He has something to show to evryone, one through the use of patience in the times of abuse and ridicule. The second being the application of miracles, the things he did were not exactly the miracles the people were looking for. Though it reminds me of a certain thing I recentlt read that talks about darkness being a gift.

Circle B

I went to see Othello and it was almost three hours long!

Circle B was a fun experience for me because ever since I was little I have loved the outdoors. Then it was our chance to take time in a class to go outside and begin to regain a connection with the world around us and it pretty much lifted my spirits. That week I had hit a spiritual plateau and was unable to break through into the presence of God the same way as I was a week earlier and that started affecting the way that I lived and the way I treated those around me. It was beginning to be unpleasant and I could tell. Then after Circle B I saw what I had been missing and it was a grasp on what God looked like. I had been so focused on changing who I was to become a better man that I slowly began to lose focus of who God was and focused more on who I was. Then my life became one categorized by pride, bitterness, and quick degrading remarks. The moment that we stepped into the tram and were transported away from the world that had become to influence me I felt like I was able to get closer to God. To be completely honest the reading of the text had little if any impact on me the entre trip. I actually got more out of the quiet time we had to enjoy the picture God painted for us and the opportunity to help free the ground of an invasive species. The coolest thing ws the bald eagle we got to see because it embodies so much power and at the same time has a sense of tenderness for its young. Then the rising up like eagles comes to mind and i can see how it shows that God will not only empower us but take care of and protect us, because he said He will rise us up on wings like eagles, not give us wings of eagles.

Mary and Bonny

I went to Lake Bonny park for around two hours because I went twice.

Wind

The ripples are commanded, come ashore

they obey

The trees heed to the same master

swaying calmly

The reeds are bent in reverent praise

by force

The clouds glide gracefully across the sky

without care

The wind is their master

He rules

Peace

Its not the silence that calms me

because silence in and of itself is impossible

its the attempt to get there that opens my eyes

by eyes I mean ears

allowing me to take an appreciation of life

life being found in other creatures

chirps and cheeps

water lapping upon the shore

trees rustling as the air moves

the sound of nature playing their fourth movement

seemingly for anyone who will take the time to listen

After first reading the Messsenger poem I was caught up as to what a phoebe and a delphinium were. They are flowers and the whole time I thought that they were types of Greek or Roman gods. But alas there is no deeper meaning hidden there that ended up eluding me. I do like the way she defines her work. She says "that her work is loving the world" which I believe should be the work of ever believer in the world. We are told by Christ to love our neighbors as ourselves. So then she is not only doing what is necessary for her but for everyone.

Her next poem is one that I like the most out of the entire set. Being from a northern state where snow is a reality this is a great depiction of the way that things really are. The sky when it turns gray but the light is amplified by the snow that is falling and is already on the ground. The wind is still as the snow falls softly and silently. True peace is achieved in the winter when the snow is falling because everything is searching for a warm place or hiding silently from the cold. then when you get inside you begin to just stomp your feet and shake all the snow that may have not melted off of yourself.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the last one because of its simplicity and its complicated message that it contains. Is it saying that any darkness that we receive is for our good? Is it only the darkness from the people we love that can really help us understand that darkness is a gift? This reminds me of the scripture that says something to the effect of wounds from a friend are safer than kisses from the enemy. I guess its the idea behind the giving. If someone truly loves you then the darkness they bring will end up in your ultimate benefit.